Coffee n Bullshit

... I should have probably just called my blog that^... (wink)

I'm a barista. I work for this little mom & pop kinda shop...the kind you find on every corner in the Pacific Northwest, you may be familiar. I'm also work in a restaurant several nights a week as a server. Anyway...I like my jobs, don't get me wrong. But as with anything customer service & retail related...you can imagine the shenanigans I deal with everyday. I write about these moments often as a coping mechanism as to avoid a complete and utter meltdown...also I hope to inspire those who read my ramblings (may as well call them rants) NOT to be THAT person. It's my perspective. Nothing more, nothing less. If there's one belief I've come to harbor it's that everyone should work in customer service/retail/restaurant at some point during their life. It's f***ing hard, and frustrating, and exhausting...but it's also rewarding in a lot of ways...none of which I'm going to discuss today. Haha. 

 
True to my snarky fashion...allow me to paint a scene:

Yesterday I'm on bar, doing my thang, crankin out some drinks and I get to a latte that indicates (no foam)...so what do I do? 1) I steam extra milk,  2) I let the milk sit for a bit longer so that the foam will separate, 3) I delay pulling the shots to accommodate this, 4) I hold the initial foam back with the spoon, and 5) finally I scoop any remaining off the top (It's all very strategic and somewhat time consuming when you consider you should be producing a drink every 30 seconds)...As I'm doing this and  thinking to myself "Nailed it" this older man practically jumps over the counter as he's watching me and yells: "That's fine! That's fine!" Naturally I'm a little startled so I stop what I'm doing to give him my full, undivided, attention as he proceeds to yell in explanation for everyone to hear, "A little foam is fine! I didn't mean no foam! I just don't want a lot of foam! So remember next time!"...I lid his drink, before I can set it down he grabs it out of my hand & storms off mumbling under his breath. Yeah, you're welcome.

Sigh.

Now...while things like this happen to me ump-teem times a day...I've learned to let it go & shake it off. But one of my favorite things to do is to imagine what I COULD have and SHOULD have said to an adult who has forged their way through life behaving like a 5 year old...

and so...I give you the desires of my heart:

"Oh I'm  sorry, so when you said "no foam" you actually meant 'some foam'? My bad."

"Do you know what a latte IS?"

"So let me get this straight, you think that you're such an exception that the next time I see "no foam" on a any cup I'm going think 'Oh? This might be Frank's, he actually means a little foam' "? Get outta here.

"That was an entertaining little tantrum. Thank you for making an ass of yourself, I didn't even have to lift a finger."

"Yeah, I will remember. I'll remember what a entitled, immature, giant turd you were. Which by the way does not translate to extra time and care on my end."

...It never ceases to amaze me how rude people are to the people making/delivering their consumables? Are you really that dense? Please insult me one more time...it really inspires me to do my best work and deliver my best service:)

Ok, I feel better. Hump Daaaaaaay.